Lessons from my children: 3 Letting Go

I currently am teaching Mercea how to play the piano.  The other day, she initiated practice and we went to play.  She was completely excited, sitting straight up, giddy, perfect attention!  I was excited too.  Then the phone rang.  I answered the phone, and Mercea went off to play while I took care of the phone call.  By the time I got off, Mercea had come up with a whole new idea of what she wanted to do.  I said, that we couldn't do it; the task would make a mess (surprise) and that we were going to resume playing piano.  She was none to happy about it.

She returned to the piano but her attitude was completely different.  She was slouched down, hair over her eyes, and lip sticking out.  Remember, 5 minutes earlier I had a perfectly happy, delighted little girl that wanted to play the piano?  Now, because of an event, completely unrelated to the piano, she no longer was in the place where she could participate in playing the piano.

The conversation I had on the phone between this transition was about the book Journey of Desire.  My co-leader was asking me if I had read the chapter yet called, "Letting Go."  I had not read it at that time.  However, after the conversation, I had a pretty good visual representation of the topic of that chapter.

Because, Mercea, was hanging on to her disappointment it was completely effecting the task she was supposed to be doing.  She was not able to participate wholeheartedly because she was still hanging on to the disappointment from not getting her way.  Even though the 2 events were completely unrelated it was still connected because of the way it was influencing her attitude. 

So yes, it was a right on visual for me.  I can completely relate.  Disappointment has become an underlying attitude for me.  I know the Lord has asked me to continue in some things, but I am only joining in half-hearted because I haven't and frankly don't want to let go of my disappointment.  Of course that chapter, in Journey of Desire, was about God bringing John to the realization that he needed to let go and God had another path for him to walk on.  But unlike I assumed, that God wanted me to suck it up and move on, it is becoming very clear that He wants to hear all about it and then He is inviting me to trust him.

So I want to share some quotes from the chapter "Letting Go" that shows the process that I am walking through:

• Being content is not pretending that everything is the way you wish it would be; it is not acting as though you have no wishes.  Rather, it is no longer being ruled by your desires (180).
• "I want to predict what the Lord is going to do, so that it doesn't hurt so bad when it happens." we grasp onto perfectionism to avoid pain and disappointment.  It only makes matters worse.  So what do we do?  How do we live with desire we cannot take care of and heartache we cannot prevent?  We groan and wait (Romans 8:22-25)  (184)
• To wait is to learn the spiritual grace of detachment, the freedom of desire.  Not the absence of desire, but desire at rest (185).
• The paradox of grief is that it is healing; it somehow restores our souls, when all the while we thought it would leave us in despair (188).
• The time has come for us to quit playing chess with God over our lives.  There are two kinds of losses in our lives, the kind that comes to everyone that we have no say in and chosen loss.  Chosen loss is when we give our lives to the only One who can truly keep them.  Spiritual surrender is not resignation.  It is not choosing to care no longer.  Nor is it Eastern mysticism, an attempt to get beyond the suffering of this life by going completely numb.  It is surrender with desire, in desire. (192-193)
• True surrender is not an easy out, calling it quits early in the game.  This kind of surrender comes only after the night of wrestling.  It comes only after we open our hearts to care deeply.  Then we choose to surrender, or give over our hearts, our deepest desires to God.  And with them we give our hearts, our deepest selves.  (194)

Thanks for reading where I am in process.

In Christ,

Refining Fire

Heart's Afire by furtwangl

One thing that I have been learning during the last few months is that God really cares about our heart and His desire is for our heart to belong only to Him. This hasn't been a very pleasant lesson to learn but in retrospect I am very grateful for it.

Hebrews 12:26-29

"Once more I will shake not only the earth but also the heavens."

The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—

that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain.
Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom

that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful,

and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,

for our "God is a consuming fire."

During, my Breaking Free study Beth Moore discussed the refining process. The picture she used to describe the process really stuck with me. She said that when gold is refined, or put through the fire, all the dross is brought up to the top and then scraped off. After that process you are left with what is valuable, the gold.

Sometimes God sends us through the refining process. Did you see how God is described at the end of the above verses? "God is a consuming fire." During times of shaking, and being consumed let us not forget what God's ultimate goal is, to have us emerge as pure gold and as a vessel that He can use.

Isaiah 45:10

"Woe to him who quarrels with

his Maker,
to him who is but a potsherd among

the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
'What are you making?'
Does your work say,
'He has no hands'?

The Lord has been bringing up junk, putting things on hold and making me deal with many issues. What I am learning through this process is that He is doing this because He loves me. He still leaves us with a choice, though, we have the choice to allow Him to mold us and refine us, or we can jump off the wheel, or out of the fire and run away saying "What are you doing?", or even worse, "You don't know what you are doing."

As I said at the beginning, it has not been easy to be molded or to sit in the fire, but for me, understanding why He is doing what He is doing for has helped me to endure and cooperate with the process. If I can encourage you, I would encourage you to cooperate with the Lord. When you are in the fire and start seeing the junk rise to the top, do not freak out, that is how the process works. Instead, give Him your whole heart and let the All-Consuming Fire refine you. He is refining you in love and in order to have us stand and withstand the things to come.

PS Thank you to Debby from Heavenly Humor for giving me my 3rd blogger award: You Add Sunshine to my Day.

There are no requirements to receive it but I am passing it along to Karen from Karen's Threads of Hope Thank you Karen for the Sonshine you've added to my days.

The Overflow of the Heart

For some reason I can't stop thinking about Hardness of Heart. So I guess I consider this blog to be like a "check up" at the doctors. Are you wondering how your heart is doing? A good place to find out is by looking at what is coming out of your mouth:

Matthew 12:34-37

For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

Then in Matthew 15:8-10

Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: 'These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.' Jesus called the crowd to him and said, "Listen and understand. What goes into a man's mouth does not make him 'unclean,' but what comes out of his mouth, that is what makes him 'unclean.'

What's the point of all this? To fill you with guilt and condemnation if you look at your words and realize "YIKES! My heart is full of junk and not clean?" No, I think the point is to get at the root of the problem and the root of the problem doesn't stem with our mouths but it stems in our hearts! If you are so busy trying to "clean up" your words and put on a show for men that you are a good Christian then all you are really doing is filling yourself with lies.

Jesus said "what goes into a mouth doesn't make a man unclean, it is what comes out." I would like to add another thought to this then: if what goes in doesn't make a man unclean then "the good" you put in won't make us "clean" either. So before you jump on me and say she is teaching heresy let me explain what I am saying. It will not be the number of hours you spend in the Word and praying that is going to make you a "good Christian." If God doesn't have your heart it will just come in one side and go out the other (that's what Jesus said). Jesus himself also said "they honor me with their lips but their hearts are far from me ~ their teachings are but rules taught by men." Jesus is not about us being able to master all the rules. Do you know what He wants? He wants our hearts. And how does He get our hearts? Through us giving our hearts to Him and walking in relationship with Him!

Do you realize what the Bible says: Jesus is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). He isn't a path to copy He is the path. He isn't a truth to be learned He is THE truth. He isn't a life to look at and try to be like, He is THE LIFE. The only way to the Father is by HIM. So lets get rid of all this religious mumbo jumbo. Let's stop trying to put on a show for men. Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the HEART (I Samuel 16:7).

Check out your heart today. What are your words? If they are revealing a dirty heart don't hide it rather give it to the One who can take our hearts of stone and replace it with a heart of flesh (Ezekial 36:26).

Your Heart

Happy Valentine's Day Beloved of God's!

Today's blog is about the condition of your heart taken from Matthew 13, the parable of the sower.

Have you ever wondered why you can sit in church week after week and the hear the truth of God's Word and yet have it make no difference in your every day life? I believe one of the reasons this happens has to do with the condition of our hearts. In the parable of the sower the ground represents the condition of our hearts. As a Christian, your heart is not automatically soil 4. As a matter of fact your heart probably has areas containing all 4 soils (that is why you can always be growing in one area but never make progress in another area).

Soil 1: The road

http://flickr.com/photos/himalayan-trails/2868073936/

What is a road? A road is usually laid by someone else. It is something hard that cannot be penetrated. In the olden days roads were made by the continual walking over and over in the same places.

Maybe there are areas in your own heart that resemble a road. In your life's story there are areas where people have continually walked upon and stomped part of your spirit down. When God's word comes, it does not penetrate that area of your heart. The Word just sits there and the Enemy quickly comes and snatches it up.

Soil 2: Rocky ground

If you've been a Christian for a while you might have areas in your heart that resemble rocky ground. You saw the rocks from soil 1 in your life and instead of removing them you covered them over with dirt. The dirt gave the illusion to yourself and others that everything was okay but the reality was that you were just hiding the rocks and hard places discussed above. When you are in church and hear God's truth you get really excited and come home pumped to be different but then the next day or only 2 hours later you lose it and are back to your old ways.

Soil 3: Weedy Ground

This refers back to the blog posting on 2/5/09 "Obtaining Freedom Part 2: Relinquishing Control." It gets back to our inability to trust the heart of God. When we hear the truth of God's Word we line it up against everything we see around us and we allow our circumstances to choke out the truth of God.

Soil 4: Ready to Roll Ground

http://flickr.com/photos/tworm/2468988948/

This soil is our goal. Soil that has the ability to receive God's Word and not only receive it but be able to reproduce from it. What does reproduction get? It not only benefits ourselves but if there is 30x, 60x or even 100x more we are able to share it with others! This is the power of God's Word in our lives and in the world.

So now what? It goes back to the first question I asked ~ are there areas in your life that never seems to change? What is that area(s)? My suggestion to you is to take that area of your heart before the throne of God.

• Decide which soil that area of your heart is: soil 1, 2 or 3.




• Ask Jesus to take that hard place in your heart and change it. Matthew 13:14-16 "'You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving. For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them." If we turn towards Him, His promise is to heal us.




• Cultivate your soil. Especially, if your heart is soil 3 than you will have to be proactive to choose to trust God with your heart when the worries begin to resurface. Continue to read the Word and pray to keep your soft heart.




• Be patient. When you plant something you know that you won't see the final product on the first day the seed is planted. The same is true in our Christian walk we will not always see the immediate result of the truth of God's Word. Your part though is to submit your heart to Jesus and to make sure your soil is in the right condition. If it is in the right condition you will see the results in time and you will be able to share the fruit from it with others!