This is what I have found about myself: when "bad" stuff happens I end up throwing out all the good things and jump feet first into a negative hole.
For instance, my daughter is 3 years old and at times can be very challenging. I love her to pieces and she has really helped me grow, but I've really had to grow. We might be having a terrific day, she is obeying, cooperating, not whining, etc. We are having a really good day. Then she throws a tantrum and out goes all the "good" she has done. I immediately start thinking, "she will never change, why does she have to be so difficult" and it is like the whole "good part of the day" didn't even happen. Then even if she gets her act together, I'm still stuck in crabbyville and if nothing "bad" happens over the next hour then maybe I will be fine and start to breathe again (you can hold your breath for a really long time when you have toddlers).
I do this in my marriage, too. I know you thought I had a perfect marriage; we are close but not quite there yet! You know how the argument goes, "You always do that!" I suddenly forget the whole week beforehand and all the times he didn't do that and all I can think is "this is how you always are; you are never going to change."
And guess where else, I do this; I do this in my relationship with God. Things are good, I'm praising Him, trusting Him then something bad happens and suddenly I find myself saying, "Where are you God; you must not care about me" and panic sets in.
I'm glad I'm not alone in this; this is how the Israelites acted. I always read Exodus and say, "How can you be like that!" God did amazing miracle after miracle and now you are getting a little thirsty and you are ready to throw God out the door and return to Egypt? I used to think "I was above this" but now I'm realizing I'm pretty much the same way.
One of the ways I have begun to counteract this problem was with the creation of the Rock Bowl. It has really helped me to not "freak out" when a new problem arises. I am reminded that the God who is faithful in the Bible, is still faithful today in the everyday realities of my life. I think that God wanted the Israelites to stop freaking out and just trust Him! But they chose to whine and complain instead. I think the same applies to me today, God wants me to stop and look to Him instead of whining and complaining.
Back to my kids and husband: this "problem" is now on my radar screen. When I get involved in a negative situation with them I am trying to pause, pray and ask God to help me not make negative agreements about what is taking place; help me to see that this is just a bump in the road and not turn it into a pothole!
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. (I Corinthians 13:6-7)
Above all love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8).
After blogging about this, it sounds like I need to start pulling out love during these situations. Love pushes through the bad times and hopes, believes and perseveres until the good times.