Well, Mother's Day was a test of my emotions, not because of a lack of love or appreciation from my family, rather it was due to what rose up inside of me.
"It's my party and I can cry if I want to..." would probably have been an appropriate theme song for that weekend. I don't usually need attention but something about that weekend awakened a quietly sleeping selfish beast. This beast thought: I should be served and appreciated and I shouldn't need to lift a single finger on Mother's Day weekend. (I'm just being honest.)
The next day was no picnic either. After being loved on, celebrated and appreciated, you'd think it would be a beautiful day of peace and calmness where I eloquently demonstrated that I am that mother that was celebrated. But it just wasn't so.
So this morning, I had to give myself a timeout and be brought back to what I know to be true. I've prayed the prayers, "Lord, take my selfishness away. Make me patient, loving, gentle and kind!" And what I meant by that is: rip out all the evil and immediately upload the good. Do a massive reboot today and let me look like who I really want to be in my mind. But as usual, I was reminded that just isn't how He works (at least not with me). Instead, He promised to walk with me today and teach me how to live and love by being daily transformed from inside out. Instead of the wave of a magic wand, I have to do the hard work of saying I'm sorry, asking for forgiveness and demonstrating by action that I need God to help me be a mother. So during my timeout, I went back through some old posts about what He has taught me in the past because I needed the reminder. So if you too were reminded on Mother's Day that you are far from the perfect mother and that you need God to be the builder of your home feel free to glance back with me:
10 pennies: which now reside in my pocket, 6 pennies in one and 4 in the other...
Gentleness: Oh, what a good reminder.
Training Children: Maybe better yet it should be called Training Parents.
In Christ,
"It's my party and I can cry if I want to..." would probably have been an appropriate theme song for that weekend. I don't usually need attention but something about that weekend awakened a quietly sleeping selfish beast. This beast thought: I should be served and appreciated and I shouldn't need to lift a single finger on Mother's Day weekend. (I'm just being honest.)
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| While this picture didn't turn out because I was trying not to squint, it does ironically capture a look at the beast. |
The next day was no picnic either. After being loved on, celebrated and appreciated, you'd think it would be a beautiful day of peace and calmness where I eloquently demonstrated that I am that mother that was celebrated. But it just wasn't so.
So this morning, I had to give myself a timeout and be brought back to what I know to be true. I've prayed the prayers, "Lord, take my selfishness away. Make me patient, loving, gentle and kind!" And what I meant by that is: rip out all the evil and immediately upload the good. Do a massive reboot today and let me look like who I really want to be in my mind. But as usual, I was reminded that just isn't how He works (at least not with me). Instead, He promised to walk with me today and teach me how to live and love by being daily transformed from inside out. Instead of the wave of a magic wand, I have to do the hard work of saying I'm sorry, asking for forgiveness and demonstrating by action that I need God to help me be a mother. So during my timeout, I went back through some old posts about what He has taught me in the past because I needed the reminder. So if you too were reminded on Mother's Day that you are far from the perfect mother and that you need God to be the builder of your home feel free to glance back with me:
10 pennies: which now reside in my pocket, 6 pennies in one and 4 in the other...
Gentleness: Oh, what a good reminder.
Training Children: Maybe better yet it should be called Training Parents.
 |
| This is a better reflection of how my family really makes me feel. |
In Christ,
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