1001 Hellos

This post was started a year ago, just finishing it up now, so that is why for those who know my son's age it won't line up perfectly.

My son is 12 years old, teetering between childhood and young adulthood. Along with this transition comes the Peter Pan heart; the pain of saying goodbye to the care-free life. The life of no worries, few responsibilities and less pain. As we discussed this, I told him how excited I was for him to enter the next stages of his life. What lies ahead for him are a myriad of hellos. There are so many hellos in my life that I would never have experienced if I had stayed put in my childhood youth. Hellos to my spouse, to my two precious children, to my beautiful friends, to my precious niece-in-law, and hopefully someday to my future daughter/son-in laws, and future grandchildren. These are the precious hellos that despite the pain of life enriches me beyond measure.

As I spoke these words to my son, I knew he couldn't comprehend what I was saying because he was looking at the past and feeling the emotions of the present.  The future didn't have the weight of influence on his heart and mind.  But for me, I knew that from where I stood, the joy of life and love that is still in store for him was worth the pain of growing older. 

I do wonder, as Jesus shared with his disciples the future He was going to prepare for them, if felt His words contained that truth they could not fathom.  Or when Paul says, the troubles of this life are nothing compared to our future glory.

I have tried to find a way to live a pain-free life and I have given up.  I have experienced deep sorrows and I know that the future may will have more.  But I am realizing that I can cry those tears and share that pain with God, because He truly does care.  On the flip side, I have experienced great joy, unspeakable joys.  So now as a parent, I have a different perspective on these words of Jesus and Paul.  They were offering what they knew to be true, experienced as truth, and knew that resting in that truth gave the ability to walk through the darkest nights: these hellos do not end, which is the beauty of the resurrection and the hope we have in Christ.

My prayer is that all the hellos of the future, despite which side of heaven they occur on, will bring give you strength to carry on.

In Christ,

Testing in the waters of life

The following thoughts have been percolating in my mind, lately.  As always they have come from a myriad of directions, but connections long to be made into one standard thought.  But perhaps that is the wrong goal.  So instead, I desire to share pieces from the grand mystery, the questions I ask of my Savior, and the thoughts that I try to test in the waters of life. 

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Yarn 1

Acts 17: 24-28 

 “The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by human hands.25 And he is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything. Rather, he himself gives everyone life and breath and everything else.26 From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands. 27 God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’[b] As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

Something about this verse made me stop and say, "What??? He is not served by human hands, He does not need anything, rather He is the giver, He desires to be sought by us, He is not far from us, we live in Him."  

Sure, if a quiz was laid before us and we were asked questions derived from the statements above, such as, "Does God need anything?"  We would most assuredly say, "No," and pass the test with flying colors.  But if we look at the way we live our lives, is that the starting point for the way we worship or are we (and how well we do or don't do) the starting point?

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Yarn 2

I was listening to "David and Goliath: A God-Drenched Imagination" and in it the speaker said he remembered going to Sunday School and after learning about Psalm 139 he was filled him with dread about God.  "God was always watching, He knew everything," did not give comfort but instead filled him with fear.  Those thoughts brought me back to remembering my own youth and the feelings of trying to "figure out the will of God in my life."  That ambition felt like a constantly moving target that was always off-centered from where I was to where He wanted me to be.  20 years later, the phantom appendage of the will of God still at times haunts my life. 

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Yarn 3
Sitting across from my dear friend, over a cup of coffee, and sharing bits and pieces of who I am, my deep questions and fears and hearing her say, "I never would have guessed that about you, you always seems so confident and sure of yourself," throws the question back in my own lap:  Hmmm, what kind of picture do you paint of yourself, is it real or is it false?  If it is false, why?  But on the same token hearing her reflect back to you, what you are doing in a way that reshapes your imagination and offers you a bit of life to take back into the work week.  Those morsels of life, along with the others, renewing your sense of purpose and providing some of that settling that we all long for in our everyday lives.

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Yarn 4
Praise.  The Psalms teach us to praise the Lord, with our whole being.  Where I want to go to when I'm with the Lord is, "Here's my to-do list, my fears, my worries, my friends' fears and worries," and "Oh, and thank you for who you are."  However, my Daily Prayer begins with "Lord, open my lips that I may praise your name," every day.  But consciously living out of a life of praise, is much easier said then done.

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Yarn 5
When you look in your daughter's tear-filled eyes and hear her express a fear she has of the Lord, the mirror holds up nice and shiny and reflects fully back at you.  [Currently, I'm taking a graduate class on assessment, and those opportunities can be full onslaught, productive self-assessment times. IE are you living what you are speaking?] But as I express to her how deep the Father's love is, how grand His plan is for her life and that this grandness can be experienced in the everydayness of life, right where she is at - it's not out there somewhere, never to be attained - I see His gentle fingers creeping in all over the place.  "Yes, you've been speaking to me. Yes, you've been molding and shaping me in a life giving way.  Yes, you were right here, not far from me, all this time."  And it brings life an invitation to look around and feel Him right where He is at and all the other corners He's been hiding the whole time.

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Yarn 6
So I've been starting out my mornings not from my fears and frustrations (2 days, 3 days tops, just being honest), which at times can be long, but from the reorientation that it is In Him that I live, move and have my being. I'm not dragging Him into my life nor am I fraughtlessly (this is supposedly not a word, but captures the essence of what I want to say, so if it were a word it could mean without success in a never-ending way) shooting after a moving target.  Rather, I'm in Him.  He's right there waiting to be known and experienced.  I just need to open my eyes and look.  "Lord, let me see where you are in this day, because I know you are there, and for that I praise you. Give me a God-drenched imagination today" (thank you Eugene Peterson via Allen's sermon for that rich, word picture).


In Christ,